Test of Friendship
We all have friends who lead different lives...some scrimp and save and think for months about their favourite pair of heels till it's no longer in for the next season; and some live extravagantly, wining, dining and spending beyond their means. Either way, they are still my friends.
I confess I am not as adult as I should with my money and get panic attacks when I see the figure in my bank account descending faster than I can spell the word. At least there is panic, at least I realise my folly in time to exercise some self-control and at least, I don't depend on my friends to borrow money to get through my day or to feed my lifestyle.
I have been recently disappointed and now I am frustrated for allowing disappointment to happen. And disappointment happens when there is a level of expectation. But who wouldn't expect a friend to keep his/her word? Who wouldn't expect a friend to treat you respectfully and not take you for granted? The cliche about how friendship and money don't mix is holding more truth than ever.
It's not the act of borrowing nor the amount that makes me feel this way...we all get into dire straight situations, too. But it is the manner in which this friend's promises made were broken again and again. And with a non-apologetic, blase attitude and for me to be the 'bad & unsympathetic' friend to keep asking, with every given reason for delay, though genuine, becomes a seeming excuse. And the assumption is that if it's not asked, it gets delayed or even forgotten.
This is not the behaviour of a sincere person who is genuinely in need. And to me, it is certainly not the kind of friendship that I intend to keep. Then again, it was my choice and I can blame no one of my deed.
Pssst...lest you think I treat friendships lightly, I don't...and that I am unsympathetic, I'm not. I normally give people, more so for friends, the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.
I confess I am not as adult as I should with my money and get panic attacks when I see the figure in my bank account descending faster than I can spell the word. At least there is panic, at least I realise my folly in time to exercise some self-control and at least, I don't depend on my friends to borrow money to get through my day or to feed my lifestyle.
I have been recently disappointed and now I am frustrated for allowing disappointment to happen. And disappointment happens when there is a level of expectation. But who wouldn't expect a friend to keep his/her word? Who wouldn't expect a friend to treat you respectfully and not take you for granted? The cliche about how friendship and money don't mix is holding more truth than ever.
It's not the act of borrowing nor the amount that makes me feel this way...we all get into dire straight situations, too. But it is the manner in which this friend's promises made were broken again and again. And with a non-apologetic, blase attitude and for me to be the 'bad & unsympathetic' friend to keep asking, with every given reason for delay, though genuine, becomes a seeming excuse. And the assumption is that if it's not asked, it gets delayed or even forgotten.
This is not the behaviour of a sincere person who is genuinely in need. And to me, it is certainly not the kind of friendship that I intend to keep. Then again, it was my choice and I can blame no one of my deed.
Pssst...lest you think I treat friendships lightly, I don't...and that I am unsympathetic, I'm not. I normally give people, more so for friends, the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.
posted by Cin at 3/17/2005 10:59:00 pm
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